Monday, August 22, 2005

Happiness Is A Worn Gun

So, maybe I should be concentrating on things that make me happy...

  1. Spending quality time with my kids - except I don't feel like a good dad at the moment, and don't want to poison them with all my bitterness.
  2. Intelligent, informed conversation - but where does one find such a thing?
  3. Sex - and how likely is that to happen in the forseeable future?
  4. Hugs - ditto
  5. Sleep - I am currently existing on 4-5 hours a night, and scared of waking because that is my lowest ebb.
  6. Retail therapy - with no money?
  7. Music - even this, my one true love, the one that has never let me down in the past, seems to have lost it's lustre.
  8. Baths / showers - a simple pleasure but I always think clearer after abluting!
  9. Achieving - little victories still help.
  10. Making someone laugh - still my greatest quality I think, but are they laughing with me or...

Fuck me I'm miserable (on 2nd thoughts, who would!)


Blogger Evil Minx said...

Oh Charlie...

You are down in the dumps.

I have been where you are now, not for the same reasons, but I've been that low.

It really might be worth a trip to the GP for something to help redress the imbalance of seratonin in your head that's contributing to your depression. It isn't addictive, and it will help you emerge from the mire and feel better.

I offer this advce with the best of intentions, not to imply craziness or anything negative. I also offer it because I've been there -- and it helps. Honestly, it does. Think of it as #9.

And here's a hug. (#4) And if it counts for anything, i've laughed with you before (#10) -- and i look forward to doing so again. When you're up to it...

3:41 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. cf: homer - a good dad, despite everything
2. t'web
3. the sound of one hand clapping
4. ditto
5. when you wake, go for a walk. see the dawn. see the dog walkers. laugh at the crack whores, with their funny traditional costumes
6. yomango
7. see 2 - start with the tofu hut, or fat planet and follow the links...
8. okay
9. okay
10. well, you always made me laugh - no, not exactly laugh, but smile in a wry, amused way that is better than laughing...

...give yourself a break, charlie- you're alright - ok, you are anxious, neurotic, angry, and sometimes absurd, you are mistrusting, resentful, riven with flaws and guilt and all that shit, but who isn't? - you're human, and basically you're alright, and frankly, in this godless and fucked up world that's as good as it gets.

That was the sermon according to z.

11:14 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home